Friday, December 31, 2004

Silence, Wind, Party.

G'day everybody, my name is Jace and I am feeling fucked up.

Well, not really, but my body is a hella tired. Today is one of those "What Happened During New Year's Eve" post. Well, yesterday I had a BBQ at my house and it more or less sucked. Only half of the invitees came and we were bumming around most of the time. It was nice seeing some old friends but other than that, it was goddamned boring. Only towards the end of the party (which was around midnight or so), did I feel a bit happier because I observed something interesting which I shall not mention as I do not want to jinx it.

Well, after saying my goodbyes to the others, Dai, Sizer, Rei and I went to Zhin's place where he had a insane private party. Good music, good company and A LOT of drinks. Yeah, I had to break my vow on drinking for that day, seeing that it was a rare occasion and if I didn't get pissed drunk, it's all cool :P

Absinthe scares me. 72.5% alcohol. I think that it evaporates a little bit after you open the bottle. Tasted like mouthwash. I only took a sip since I heard it causes hallucinations and I wasn't really ready to trip totally. Well, around 4-5am we left the party and reiforge and I went to the mamak to grab some food. Well, I guess that paid off because I'm not hungover, just very tired.

Can't really type much. My brain has really woken up yet. Heh Heh Heh.

I wish you all a Happy New Year. Well, it was rather mellow one this time around yeh.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Of Past Lovers and Smiles.

Heh, had to post another entry as this is totally unrelated to whatever I posted earlier. This is more like real journal entry than a personal thought.

Well, had an extremely busy day today, what with all the planning for a New Year's Eve Bash at my place. I dropped by BarBlonde today to pick up Roll and meet up with some old MVA friends. Came too late to get any food but I got a free Coke so I guess that's cool. Bailed Roll out of the place and drove to BrewBall @ Phileo Promenade, Ampang Park. Then, BAM! I saw her, or at least I thought it was her.

I saw my ex-girlfriend, the first woman I fell for, playing pool at the table opposite of me. Just as I was shaking hands with Vidad and Prem I noticed that she was looking at me. I was trying to make sure if it was her so I just flashed a smile. Miraculously, she smiled back. Goodness Gracious Me! I felt nice. It's been too long since a girl smiled at me. Not including friends and family of course. Throughout the whole hour that I was there, I could only manage a smile everytime we met gazes. Of course, deep down inside me I knew that it was too early to get involved with another woman, I rather not get myself committed again since I'm still in the midsts of fixing and upgrading my body and soul.

But DAYUM! She was fine. Really fine, words cannot describe it, it's just one of those girls that really catch my fancy. That scares me a little bit, but it's a good sign of moving on. Well, looks like the hunt will be starting next year once renovations on myself are done.

Yay for me.

Grounded In Reality or High In Outer Space? Part Two.

Greetings and welcome to Part Two of my minor study on human beings.

Yesterday it was about the MTV generation, today, it's about the passionate ones. Overall, I find them very fun to talk with and the 'click' of friendship is definately there. I guess I am in a way, a passionate one. What is life without passion anyways? It's interesting to see how their eyes light up or their mouth loosen at a topic that they love. Be it film, arts or hell, pornography. They could go on and on about the subject or at least sell their story to a person. That's fine. However, with passion comes "Crimes Of Passion".

That, is terribly deadly and leads to some heated arguements. I've seen people who are so obssessed with things that it clouds their judgement and something or someone will become the target of their frustration. Of course, other outside factors also play a role in this but in the end, it is their own passion that burns them. Some die. Yes, I'm thinking that today's post is getting a bit dramatic, but I'm in a mood for drama.

Passion comes in many forms, friendship, hopes, career, love, etc. I've seen almost all the extreme forms of passions in my short stay of Earth. Who knows what else will I see later in the future. I've seen people get worked up at how their best friend had turned from a funny fast-talking sarcastic mofo into a whipped and rather reserved dude. They feel that it's their responsibility to help him/her to open him/her eyes. It is, any good friend would definately do that. However, like many things, there are lines or boundaries that should not be crossed. I've overstepped my boundaries one too many times in the past and regretted doing so many times.

Well, I'm suddenly losing my train of thought so I'll just say one last sentence,

"People love leaning to one side of the spectrum as it keeps them... hardcore in someways BUT nothing beats chilling out and having a nice cold drink while seeing the world go by."

The End.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Grounded In Reality or High In Outer Space? Part One

I'm in a rather bittersweet mood. Took a drive around KL and just decided to observe society while listening to some good mellow music. I didn't exactly get some kind of major revelation but I did realize some rather interesting things.

People, by nature, find it very hard to accept the fact there are people that love them to death and there are people who hate them to the bone. The emo/goth/punk/insert MTV genre here kid. If I wanted to keep this blog entry short, I'd just tell you to go listen to Linkin Park and you'll see what I mean. Dayum. But I'm not gonna tell you that, you see, it's horrible how some people think that nobody listens or cares about them. I mean, yeah, there are people that can't be bothered to listen to you whine and whine and oh yes, whine but in the end, there are some people that care enough to listen and if they think you've been led astray, will tell you to shutthefuckup. What I'm getting to is, there are people who care for you and there a people who want to murder you, it's all up to you on how you take it. It'd be muuuuch better if people knew how to chill. Something that I know very well.

It's not entirely good to be incredibly happy either because you'll end up getting too full of yourself and think that no matter what you do, your friends will laugh it off. This, I learned through first-hand experience but I won't bother you with the details.

Well, this is all that I am able to express but I know for a very fact that I will be adding more to this train of thought.

Cheers

You'll Never Guess Who Died....

Yeah, I'll never be able to find out who were the two dead bodies lying on the road tonight either. The fact that their bodies were covered up with old newspaper and that I don't even know these fuckers. What am I rambling about? Well, there was a 10+ car pile-up on MRR2. A Proton Wira was split into half, a Proton Satria had it's whole front compacted, and the others had medium to bad damage. Four cars were total wrecks. Very very amusing accident. There was only one Police Waja handling the traffic as the halved Wira was in the middle of the 3-lane highway. There were a few girls crying by the side of the highway so I knew there were a few joyriders in this pile up. Serves the right and yes, I'm an insensitive bastard.

That was a interesting ending to my "Feel Depressed So Let's Take A Drive" session.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Floating On. Strutting On.

I'm feeling a hell lot better nowadays, and oh yeah, recovering from a serious depression feels great. I won't say that I feel like a million bucks but I certainly feel peaceful, that Zen-like state. I'm still aware that there a lot of things still reverberating from my breakup. The dispute between my good friends and Lina for example. I believe that if my friends decide that they would like to give Lina a piece of their mind, they may do so for it is their right and I don't stop people from expressing their thoughts or emotions. Sure, it'll be horrible for her as she's trying to understand her feelings, her new love and whatever chaos is in her life but I think this is seriously a good time to show people that if we all just sit back and relax, some things will be clearer and sharper.

It's pretty simple, a person like me got blasted out of the water. I was more or less an emotional wreck and I got seriously hung up with Lina. A LOT of heavy emotions were playing with me. However, it hit me that it was time for me to take a step back and think/ponder for a moment on what the situation was like overall. I did everything from quitting my vices to exercising. All of them worked and now that I'm in the midst of healing my mind, body and soul, I keep on feeling better and better. Yes, I'm still in love with Lina but the way things are, I might be closing that storybook in the near future.

Well, this post could be edited by me and it would just have a few words. They'd most probably go like this:-

"Take it easy, just chill and life will open a path for you."

I bid you all, good night.

?

Well, first things first, I finally created a LiveJournal account. Same name, different address.

Jace's Pad, Live Journal Edition

The other thing I have to say is, I'm fine Aainaa, I'm not gonna get addicted to panadol, stopped doing that as a way to kick my nicotine habit. Thanks for worrying. Decided to do some real workout sessions, cycling, hiking and all the crazy shit I used to do in the past.

Well, I've got a lot of things to do today so maybe I'll edit this post later.

Cheers.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Gut Wrenching , Wonderwall Screaming, Big White Telephone.

I'm in day 3 of anti-vice Jace mode. As expected, the nicotine withdrawl has affected me greatly. It's lovely that I don't get the urge to grab a pack and smoke my sorrows away. I'm currently on a diet of paracetamol. Which isn't that great of an idea but it helps. It's my very own placebo pill.

However, I think downing two pills everytime I feel like a sack of Nazis or when my hands tremble and I break out in a cold sweat isn't good. It helps a bit but I think I'm beginning to feel the side-effects. I've been vomitting more regularly than ever. It's like my body is rejecting whatever I ingest. Which sucks, I feel hungry but I have no appetite. Sucks doesn't it.

Well, working out like a madman has helped too but that too has side effects, my joints hurt. Not too big of a problem but what pisses me off is that when they hurt too much I can't work out. That's why. Well, I'm more or less not too bummed out about being dumped by Lina for another guy. Sure it hurts, but hey, if I just have to be myself and wait patiently, I'll do just that because, this may sound pathetic or mushy but I never really cared what people would say, I still love her and I guess I most probably will until god knows when.

Heh, talk about not being able to let go. Hell, I'm even helping her out with her new love. Sometimes I wonder how my tolerance levels reach to such levels but they did and it does crack a bit when I'm feeling the withdrawl but if she's happy, I should be cool. Just cool. Superfly. Strawberries and Cream. Coke and Panadol.

Well, another day, another long post. It's been too long since my blog lacked some 'real' posts. Does that mean I've come a long way since I started this piece of internet I call home?

Peace out.