Feeling bored and bummed and so. Here's a few pics taken with a webcam. Yes, I lopped off my hair....
Bluesy Jace
Midori Jace
Rott Jace
Zombie Jace
That's that. This is one of my more meaningless posts. Here's something interesting I realized, I only post a lot on my blog if:-
a) Something bad happens
b) Something depressing happens
c) Something amusing happens
Very few happy blogs I have.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and Happy Hanukah to those who celebrate that.
Just came back from a X'mas Eve party in Bangsar. I went to a club called Absolute. The music of choice? RnB and Hip-Hop. It wasn't great nor was it horrible. The best part of the part was when they started pumping out some classics like 'Jump Around', "Hit 'em Up" etc etc. The worst part was they loved to replay the same songs over and over again which really pissed me off. The Christmas Party Spirit was definately there.
Of course, so were the Sluts. Lots of 'em. I mean as much as I enjoy eye-candy but some were downright nasty that they should've been wearing clear heels (a brownie point to those that understand) Hell, it was entertaining to watch but depressing at the same time. Have parties devovled to such low standards in Bangsar?
The Puddle of Vomit, ah good ol' Uncle UpChuck. I'll have to thank my friends for the free alcohol and supportive advice. Yes, I know that drowning yourself in drink is like escaping reality and forgetting whatever happened. Well, for the most part, I didn't care and I just wanted a place to escape too. And so, the amount of cigarettes smoked and the alcohol downed did not agree to my body. Rejected everything it did. The fact that I skipped dinner even made it worse. However, I still had a good time and yes, I've sobered up already. You see, due to my recent break-up, I've been down and constantly deep in thought. Most of them useless and contained wishful thinking but I decided that today I should party hard and do all the vices before I go 100% clean. I shit you not. I'm going clean from drink, tobacco and swine. Hell, I've even started jogging. That was this morning when I couldn't sleep! The hardest will be the fight against Big Tobacco and it's many influences.
I know that cleaning up my act won't get back my old relationship but if it'll make me feel better about myself and let me feel alive again. This reminds me of a griptape that had the writing, "Can I Live Now?"
Well, the answer to the question relies on my own self-discipline. With that, I end my post for today as I need to catch up on some sleep. I haven't slept for the past..... 46hours. I recall someone saying that your body would stop functioning if you don't sleep for more than 48 hours. It's too early for me to leave this joint so I'm gonna go to sleep and collect the parts of my soul that I left behind.
Cheers.
"This is what you'll get when you mess with usssssssssssssssssss."
"Karma Police."
-Radiohead
Hmmm, I'll blog up a full report on today's quote but for now..... I will go and try to enjoy myself at Bangsar.
::EDIT::
Vidad decided to chill for awhile at my place, so i guess i'll take this oppurtunity to blog a bit.
Well, let's see. Karma sucks. Unevitable but in this scenario I hate it. I just broke up with Lina for the 2nd time and this time it was her who stopped loving me. Yeah, it's a twisted dagger to the heart but for now, I'm still in a semi-state of shock. I guess that's why I can still type coherently. I don't know when the love from her stopped but I honest to god did not see it coming at all. Yeah, I thought that after I got back together with her I would do everything in my damn power to keep the relationship stable and last for a long time. Alas, 'twas not gonna happen.
I'll be honest here, I did not take the news very good. Tears were shed, yes, I shed tears, some people might think I'm weak but love does that to people. I dearly love her. So i had no choice but to accept her decision and let her go. I was fighting a losing battle. Nothing could salvage our relationship. Karma has dealt a deadly blow to my love life.
Well, this is where I say my goodbyes to the relationship I once had. All of it. One year and Five months. Longest ever for a person like me. The bolt has be shut. The memories remembered and belongings returned. I would very much like to return to the good ol' days but that's just a child's way of thinking. So, I will do my best to get back to my usual cycle of life. She'll still be there to support me, just not be my lover anymore.
With that, I bid you all farewell for the day, Merry Christmas and remember kids, "What goes around, Comes around."
Hmmm, there times when I wonder if people actually support the independant film scene in Malaysia. Sure, a Semester 2 student from MIIM might not get a lot of attention from other people but is it actually hard to just lend a hand? This, from my POV, makes me believe that some old dudes in the industry are too busy trying to earn money for themselves than help the overall scene. Of course, I expect them to go and say, "When I was your age, nobody helped me out."
How hard is it to actually give some simple advice or maybe a little bit more?
Sure I'm one out of the hundreds of young film makers, nothing but an insignificant number. Well, Ithe day I finish my first short will be a lovely one, and nobody can deny that from me. Nobody.
Ah yes, a request would end this entry rather nicely, anybody kind enough to borrow me the services of their computer (with a firewire port) do message me. All i need to do is rip out the video into digital format. That's all. Thanks.
I've had an odd day. It's bad but somewhat bittersweet.
First of all I feel horrible and my self-esteem for today is at an all time low.
Okay, mom finally found out that I smoke and being the typical chinese mother she is, which is also a good thing, god bless her soul, has forced me into quitting 12 days before my actual date of quitting. Nothing too bad.
The main reason why i feel so down and 'orrible is well, I don't know, I've got a vidcam from Roll for the week which is great and I get to film starting from tomorrow but man, I feel like a sack of pet rocks.
It would be right for me to smoke a cig and go to sleep but now..... I can't.
Well, CosMas was a blast, loved being the emcee.... somewhat tiring but fun. Can't wait for next years.
Yes, i decided to end it happily. Gonna stay up the whole night acting all psycho and shit
Jace is lost. Amir hasn't been found either. This would be a simple log of events about these poor lost souls. Stay awhile and buy this troubled boy a drink.
I have no idea who I am. Low self-esteem is one thing I noticed after writing the first sentence.
