Saturday, February 12, 2005

Freefalling While Seeing Red...

It's about time I said something. A lot of things have happened and now that I'm currently hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion and a very odd calm/serene feeling I might as well just say what I have to say.

A few days back, I had dreams. Load of them. 9/10 were about my ex-gf, Lina. One day, I confided to a few friends asking them if I should tell her I still loved her. Of course, seeing that I wasn't wearing my thinking cap, they told me very nicely BUT very sternly that I was going through another phase where I'm just very lonely from the lack of Significant Other Love. In the end I decided to bury it in for two weeks. I'm still in my first week by the way. However, today I found out that my dear Lina has found another. Great.

Of course, this made me lose and go berserk. I seriously saw red and ended up beating every single object in my room and breaking down into a useless lump of meat and bones. A good talk with my closest friends calmed me down a lot. Now I realize that my brain was playing tricks with me. 'twas nothing more than a simple phase. Looking at the cuts and bruises on my fist made me realize that it's not worth my time to be acting like an aggro-psycho-ish dude. The pain has left me which is honestly, fucking great. XD

I'm so bloody touched by the way my friends have acted. There was never a time when they didn't catch me when I fell into the deepest depths of the inferno. Sorry for the way I whine to you guys though. *smirk* You guys have given me a good push to the door labeled, "Move On Bitch." Terribly Terrible touching. In the past, when I was nothing more than a love-struck biatch, you guys managed to be patient despite my lousy behaviour. I'm eternally grateful.

And so, I thank all of you who caught me and salute you. 'twas about time I got out of this hole. 'twas about time I stopped burying those god-forsaken feelings. 'twas about time I moved on with my life. Love may have stabbed me repeatedly, but it gave me good memories too. Can't forsake my previous relationship and I can't tell it to bugger off either. It's all part of a chapter in a book, a book that's being written constantly. Well, that's that I believe.

I don't know how many times I have to thank all my friends. Lotsa lotsa loves dudes and dudettes. Especially to Sheila, Atifi and Fifa, who were there for me today. I bow to you all.

And one last thing for Lina, I am no longer gonna be hung up on you (and thank the gods and my friends that I have FINALLY moved on), so expect me to be less angsty/ganas when I'm around you. I wish you the best of luck with your new love. Make sure he treats you right or they're be a lot of people standing by you to KEEL (yes I said KEEL not kill) him. Thanks a lot for all the sweet memories for the past one and a half years babe.Do try to treat me as friend instead of an ex-bf now yeh? Cheers m'dear.

One very very big....

SHIT EATING GRIN THAT'S THANKING YOU ALL!!!!



It's about bloody time eh? *grin*